Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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