The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
