That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
