So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
