If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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