how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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