I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
