i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
