when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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