At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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