hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
