do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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