I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
