just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
