I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
