Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a hot homeless man
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
