just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
