girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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