your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
