I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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