So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
