Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
