good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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