Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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