$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
