you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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