you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
tell me about the eggs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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