this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
