dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize