you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
