Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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