You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
