Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
