i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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