So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize