In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
