Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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