you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
