I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
should my penis look like a turkey
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
