i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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