I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
