I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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