I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
