Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
