dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
a search helicopter?!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize