On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
