Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
