I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
