I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
