I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
