i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
