ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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