So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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