My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
