Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
