i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize