yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
