You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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