He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize