some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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