WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
pray to the hookup gods
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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