how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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