How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
