Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
