I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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