Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
