He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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