someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
