Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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