Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
