i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
