Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
