So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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