i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize