I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
