ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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