someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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