He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize