Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
