Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
